There is much I have wanted to write about the past few days, but much has kept me away from the keyboard. Typing has become one of the daily tasks I have that has become quite painful, along with cleaning, food prep and bicycle riding. My hands, especially my index fingers have become so swollen and painful that I find myself rationing my activities to make sure that the most important things get done first. Personal writing does not rank very high on the list, no matter how much I love to do it. Making sure there is dinner on the table seems to be a more pressing concern.
Moving forward in life I can see that this is going to become an increasingly more difficult dilemma to negotiate. The demands of family and the world around me are so loud and insistent and, ultimately, not possible to ignore. If I am committed to a life without driving then the lovely long rides through the country side or the crazy social rides through town that I have enjoyed for the last few years are not really possible. If I must answer a dozen emails in an hour I can not then write about my thoughts on fear today. The bathroom needs to be scrubbed which means the living room can not be vacuumed.
With what appears to be increasing limitations on what my hands can do, how do I find space for the things I love? How do I keep from becoming bitter over what I must do?